Not too much new going on. I guess it’s been several days since I’ve written one of these up. I’m starting to get death threats from my family telling me to get on it. CALL OFF YOUR DOGS NOW. PLEASE!

Just been hanging out here at cooee for a little over a week. Drinking occasionally… though my parents will be happy to know that the past few days have seen me being sober as a snail. I’m not sure how these kids can keep up such rabid stamina. I’ve only been drinking for probably a little over a year. And already I think I’m tiring of it. Whatever though. Last night was totally uncool. Steven, my old steadfast roommate, moved yesterday to a new room with his GF. So last night I open my door, only to have it bang into some dude’s knee, sitting right across from the door.

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Hey muffins.

I promised fun in the sun and boy howdy did I deliver! (a fire alarm is going off in the building presently, and for some reason) Must’ve been a few days ago by now that I braved the shark-infested waters off the coast of Bondi in the name of body boarding. Woo dog shucks howdy it was fun! At first I really sucked and couldn’t catch any waves on account of I’m a terrible swimmer to begin with. *insert breast stroking joke here* But after about a half an hour I was able to hop on nearly 30% of them that came my way. Not so bad for a beginner, I think. Either way, I was having too much fun to stop. So instead of doing that, I didn’t. My back was probably facing the sun for a good two and a half hours total that day, with minimal sunblock and minimal ozone. (Damn you Al Gore!) Suffice it to say I was later displeased with the results.

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It’s been a few days now that I’ve been here. And I can safely say that I am as confused and scared as I’ve ever been. So far I haven’t been sure what to do with myself. Luckily, at the G’day Backpacker’s Hostel, I met enough people to keep my mind occupied for the last three nights I stayed there.

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Hey buddies. Cptn. Torrence Rapebeard here, reporting from Sydney Australia. OH HELL YEAH U NO IT! It was a lavish and expansive chore to get here. Let me describe it to you thusly:

My mom dropped me off at the Indianapolis airport early in the afternoon on the 14th. Must’ve been about a day and a half ago by now. After saying goodbye, I waddled up to the United check-in counter and handed over what has got to be the smallest checked bag in civilized history. It was a toiletry bag full of everything you’re not allowed to take on planes any more. Liquids, flammables, knives, indigenous wild animals. But I totally tricked them and it worked. I had an hour to murder in the airport. Sitting quietly, staring forward was my weapon of choice.

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