As of today, if you Google “covered in pee”, my website comes up as the number one hit! I think I speak for everyone when I say “Congratulations, Jason!”. Really, I owe it all to the spiders.

I don’t show up on Yahoo! though (like it matters, Yahoo! doesn’t even have its own verb). Number one is the Pee-wee’s Playhouse Wikipedia page. Followed by frenchpee.com. Rounding out the top three is “Bukkake Pee - Sluts Covered in Cum And Drenched in Piss”. That doesn’t seem very polite.

Live Search what? Nevermind that.

Oh well. Can’t win ‘em all. But you can win one! Like I did!

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Think just a little about it and you’ll realize that those pompous anti-pot ads categorize all marijuana users based on the irresponsible actions of a few. Sound familiar? They claim that if you smoke marijuana, you’ll go nowhere in life, your friends will hate you and your younger siblings will follow your lead and break your parents’ hearts. Give it a rest. Something doesn’t smell right. I think it’s because they pulled this shit out of their asses.

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For the last few days we’ve been ravaged by big storms ripping down trees and blowing up transformers (the boring kind). The older part of town, where at we live, is the most exciting part in that regard because everything is old and comes apart easily. On a jog yesterday I had to jump over fallen trunks and limbs and circumnavigate lake-sized puddles. Luckily the highway always stays on during outtages and it’s packed with fast food restaurants and wal-marts that’ll keep you plenty occupied any time of the day or night. I myself usually sit around and watch movies until my laptop’s battery dies. Then I just sit around. That’s how I saw The Happening. My goodness was that film ever terrible. I’ll miss the storms when I leave.

The good news is I’ll be headed to Washington this Saturday. BOOYAH! Gots a Southwest ticket in my sweaty hand, and my replacement Cybook arrived today! Great timing.

Unrelatedly, I stumbled across a great band called Foxy Shazam. If you’ve never heard of them, imagine The Blood Brothers, Showbread and Ben Folds having a massive orgy on stage. And if you’re not familiar with all of those groups, just imagine a brightly-lit and athletic orgy. Sexy right? Exactly my point. Check ‘em out here.

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“Are you struggling to lose weight? Does it seem like, no matter what you do, you just can’t get rid of excess body fat?”

If yes, don’t feel bad. You’re in the majority. Everyone’s ballooned up nowadays. At least in America. It’s awesome. You don’t realize just how shockingly true that is until you leave the country and come back. Shit’s off the chain.

Luckily, I know the secret to losing the weight for good! The answer will probably not surprise you at all! Especially since I’m building it up so sarcastically! SUSPENSE!

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Hey, giggles.

I’ve been in Indiana for three weeks now, a week longer than I had planned when first arriving here. It’s only just now that I’ve tracked down someone who could say “do this and maybe this will happen”. Too late anyway. I’d already decided yesterday that I wouldn’t be returning to the UK.

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