Japan… like a fox!

Oicha. Long overdue. My baddles. I meant for this entry to have happened a few days ago when it could have been all romantic and junk. But hey, I’m a born procrastinator. It’s what I do. AND I’M GOOD AT IT DAMN IT.

I’m in Japan(ts) now. Been that way for probably three days. I forget when I arrived. Getting here was made excruciatingly difficult for my lack of discipline. I had a PARTY time my last night in Cairns/Australia. Hit some booze and such with my mouth. I swear it was an accident. The ordeal left me going to sleep at about tooth:hurty AM because we undertook an arduous sojourn to visit a friend who lived out in a range somewhere. We had a great time, but the distance meant that I probably spent about $80 total on cab fare. I’m not worried about that because it was worth it. Smoke. Spirits. All you can do is imagine.

I woke up at 6:30 in order to pack my bag (lights were off early the night before, and I didn’t want to wake anyone with my drunken rummaging), shower the stink of debauchery off me and find transport to the airport for my 10:00 am flight to Osaka. There was shuttle leaving in about 15 minutes, but the receptionist at my hostel recommended I pull down a taxi to ensure I arrived with time to allow international processing. Remember, this whole time I’m burning through a max of four hours sleep, and am all kinds of confused and hung over. Fortunately, necessity breeds determination. Who knows where the sky may end up then!

He called a cab for me which arrived a few minutes later. I leapt in and off we were. It’s about 15 minutes to the airport from that hostel, and in the fetal stages of the final minute, I realized my wallet/water bottle weren’t clipped to my computer bag as usual. I’d left them on the desk of the reception area - confirmed by a generous inquiry made by the cabbie. Son of a… you know what? I won’t go there. Because I’m not that guy. Calm, Jason. Calm.

We pulled an awesome rolling 180 (probably) and bee-lined back to the hostel, where I collected my wallet. While I was there, I figured I’d see about that shuttle since it’d be free instead of money. Booked. Solid. Whatever. My cabbie was cool anyway. And I think he picked up on the fact I wasn’t functioning at 100%. When we neared the airport for the second time - money and all - he shut the counter off at $40 to save me some face. Like I said, cool guy.

Security was a sinch. I couldn’t help but be jealous of all the other Japanese people standing casually in line with their shmancy rolling baggage (the Japanese have a very distinct bond with functional, hard-shelled luggage systems) while I hauled my fat bag (heh) in stupid, little shuffle-steps. I’m pretty hardcore on getting one myself… weighing the pros and cons of enduring the oft-scoffed-at process of formally switching from a backpack to a suitcase. I hear tell some hostels won’t even admit persons who don’t fall under the semantically crippled “backpacker” label. I scoff at their scoffing! It’s pretty fancy. Anyway…

Got to my gate with time to spare. I bought some Tim-Tams (A chocolate, coffee-style biscuit which is apparently a chief impulse-export to Japan. Supposedly they leave the country hoarding bags full of them.) for the course, and also to share with my hosts in Japan. Jet Star is one of many new “budget-airline” companies (”Way of the future”, proclaims Howard Hughes) with which you must customize your journey either beforehand or during, with cash, by paying specifically for extras such as in-flight meals, drinks and entertainment. I threw down an extra $10 for a “media pack”. Shit am I glad that I did!

I was seated in the second row, right behind the two obligatory, dueling babies. They had a great time waking each other up the whole time. Damn you, sexual reproduction! (except sign me up)

As soon as the seat belt light winked off after the ascent, a slightly effeminate steward floated past and interrupted my bloodshot stewing in order to hand me a small media display loaded with some new movies and a few “Australian Favorites”. I was all like “Awesome!” because, when I boarded the plane, I only saw the normal, shared video panels posted at the front of the economy section and I thought I’d wasted money on a non-existent amenity. Not so! I managed to pound down three and a half movies during the flight’s course (”Atonement” was the half).

Must’ve been near the end of the flight, when I was filling out the customs forms, that it fully hit me that I’d just left Australia and was off to different pastures. The move was produced so quickly from stark boredom that I didn’t even have the time to process what I was setting in motion. I’m adjusting to the awesomeness of impulse travel. The Gonthier family threw me a nice going-away dinner earlier in the evening on my last day. That helped a little in easing me on out.

Got here, not queer, you’re used to it (yeah?). But I had to wiggle my way through the snake’s nest of trains that is Japan’s rail system after not even being able to sleep on the plane. I knew then that, somehow, I’d eventually either get there or be stabbed by a small junkie. How startling.

Using Dave’s cryptic descriptions, I looked into buying a ticket for the legendary shinkansen line. What I didn’t realize was how damn far away Osaka actually is from Tokyo, and that the ticket was about $150! If I’d known that, I would’ve just paid for a connecting flight and been done with the mess. At least I’ve already got “the shink” under my belt. Unlike those crafty marsupials in Australia.

I used shattered Japanese and confusingly broad gestures to figure out the fiddly bits along the way. I arrived in Dave’s area only 10 minutes after he’d gotten off work. Neither Dave, Steve (another guy) nor myself expected the trip to take so long. I didn’t even make any mistakes! My hangover was long gone by then. End of story, anyway. Let’s not talk about things.

Like I said, I waited too long to write this up and now I can’t remember all the last few days’ events, or the order in which they happened. What I do recall is that Dave lives in a tiny apartment in a pretty cool place. Steve does not. And his descriptions of his circumstances don’t glow with the light of happiness. He’s only just settling in. The plan was for me to go stay with him mostly, as Dave has too little free time, working 12 hour days. But that can’t happen till he gets settled in a bit more. He ain’t even gots internet, and I’m all over that now since I had precious little access to it in Australia. Telstra… I’m glaring significantly at you. Andrew Morawski, I hope that your deliciously-tempered champagne goes flat tonight.

We’ve been to Akihabara a couple times. That’s the “electric” area of downtown Tokyo where you can get all sorts of gadgety-goods (both illicit and legitimate… let’s not mince words) for savage prices. I picked up an R4 for my new Nintendo DS. If you don’t know what an “R4″ is, check it out on the internets pages. The confusing stigma that surrounds it is funny as hell.

I also grabbed some digits off a cute Japanese girl (VERY smoothly, I might add) in a big electronic store. My sister would totally be proud (And even moreso after the slick-as-shit phone conversation I had with her this very evening. I win. Just ask Dave and Steve. I’m actually getting good at this.)

Last night/this morning, we hit up a karaoke bar after some light clubbing. We mixed up the night with some soulful oldies and a few heavier numbers during which I got to shine out my metal throat. I’m a bit crook (means sick in Aussie-speak), but somehow still had my voice this morning. We did one of those things where you get escorted outside because the place you’re in is closing, and the new day’s already bloomed (*cough 5am cough*). Very disappointing. We slept until about noon, then took our time collecting ourselves and headed to Tokyo again for the latter of the two, aforementioned visits to the electric district. (Dave lives about an hour away from Tokyo by train) I’m spending money like vomit, and it feels alright! Still got more to buy. Nice.

Might go on a hike with Dave and some of his students tomorrow. Depends on how awake I am at 8:30. I need to get a new sim card squared away as immediately as possible. Gotta have a cell phone in Japan. If you’ve ever been on a train here, you know that.

I just finished watching the rest of “Atonement” (Happily, Dave has it. A+ fillum.) and a new ep of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, which got my creative juices flowing. That’s why my language is all hot and bothered. Plus I just finished the biggest can of beer ever… I hope. This thing’s like a practical joke in scale. I’m tempted to exaggerate, saying it’s “bigger than a bread box”. But that’s not true. I think I can safely say that if this can and a bread box were pitted against each other in a death match, I might put my money on the beer as “the scrappy underdog”. My plan now is to buy one of these for 500 yen whenever I want to replace my self respect with alcohol. Friends!

Seems like Japan will be an exciting time. Only been here a few days and look at all that stuff I just wrote. Special! Tons of racist, sexist and otherwise offensive jokes so far. Yes, yes and more yes. I like it.

Haven’t taken any pictures, but will do so soon.